This doesn't hurt. Cancer does.

So a lot has happened in the past couple of years I have neglected this site. It's like my Christmas cactus my mom keeps wondering about. It doesn't grow because I don't pay attention to it! But I saw a t-shirt in a running room propoganda I picked up the other day for inspiration and it prompted me to write. It said "This doesn't hurt. Cancer does". And I knew exactly what that menat. And I think I might just have to get one of those made for me.

I have had a lot of stuff go on in the past while. My father passing was a huge blow to myself personally, on the family level and my entire being. I have had a baby, broke my leg and almost ripped my foot off, recouped from that- can walk again, moved to Medicine Hat, moved back, struggled through a crippling post partum depression (none of that is in a chronological order). After many drowned sorrows in cupcakes, tears and Storage Wars I am feeling like I am back again. I attribute a lot of it to my steadfast partner Shawn, who has put up with my craziness and outbursts of uncontrolled grief for the past two years. He is my rock and although the boat hasn't always been steady- I have never doubted his love and his in me. And he has never left my side.

I can also give some credit to my beautiful personal trainer Andrea, who despite me asking for it, never has yelled at me once! I am FINALLY running again. Finally. And it feels good. I went while on my work camping trip in the mountains and as I came up over one hill pushing the stoller singing the ABCs for H I realized I hadn't felt that alive and happy in years. Literally. Years. I went last night with Shawn, Huckleberry and my two wonderful fur babies in the ravine by our house and for the first time didn't feel like I was going to die. I ran all the way up the hill and didn't stop once. And I don't think it's just my new Nikes. I am actually going to get the balls to sign up for the 10km on September 22 with my two friends and I think I'll actually survive. My cousins in Thunder Bay are running on on that day as well and so I feel a bit of a connection to them in that way and so plans are in the works to sign us all up one to run together. I've said it before and I'll say it again; Derkson women are beautiful.