Pirate Ship and booty = motivation

So went for a really long hard run tonight with a friend- her statement this afternoon- "yeah, I'll come with you but can we go hard tonight?" so I got home- had a salad and whole wheat butter chicken pizza from panago (oh my god so good) and drank a tonne of water in preparation. We watched a pirate cartoon with H and put him to bed and off I went. Took the dogs- Annie is terrible on the leash but has the recall of a boomerang! Nanook has no recall but runs beside me like a dream so it's a bit chaotic till they get into the rhythm... Anyway ran hard- then ran some more... 39 minutes with three walk breaks hard out. I feel good but might be stiff tomorrow... A good epsom salt soak should fix that Shawn says.

Also- quick story- H and I were at my friend Laura's horse boarding farm awhile ago and there was a pile of horse poo him and her daughter were playing on and he kept yelling "pilaship" which I thought meant pile of shit!!! I was getting mad at him and in wonder where he knew that from- when he started yelling ahoy ahoy and realizes he was saying PIRATE SHIP... Phew!!!!

Which brings me to the cumulation of these ramblings tonight- my motivations. I am motivated by three things-

1- honestly? Three of my favorite stores in the world are here now in Edmonton- lululemon, J.Crew and Anthropologie. And guess what? I'll be honest completely- I can't fit into a damn thing in any of them. J.Crew and Anthro? Forget it. Lulu? Overpriced sausage casing. I just want to walk in and try something on and be able to wear it. That's all.

2- my fathers passing of stomach cancer. Now not to say my dad was unhealthy or fat- he worked hard and had a secret spin cycle in the garage where he'd sweat to the oldies... But watching a loved one suffer is not only gut wrenchingly heartbreaking but also incredibly inspiring to know that absolutely nothing I do is harder than what my dad went through. And to say "oh my god it's so hard I can't do it" - I just think of how scared we were of the radiation and chemo and how brave and honest and unflappable my father's strength was. And how he'd put on his game face- For himself and all three of us huddled in the waiting room.

3. For my kiddo. Every single time I put something bad in my mouth I get this guilt that I'm robbing H of a happy, healthy momma who needs to be able to chase him, pick him up and tickle him till he screams- then do it all over again... I want to take him hiking, kayaking, biking, and show him the world. But most importantly I want him to be healthy and happy and he needs me. Every piece of junk food takes that away from him. And so I guess my biggest motivator is love...

I hope you got to the end of this one. I feel like it's my best one yet :)